The following article is written by Michael Shane, a good friend from church. Michael has been a great blessing to our church in media ministry, and to our RU chapter.
After a conversation about bitterness with Michael, I asked him if he would be willing to write a guest post on the blog about what God had taught him through his experiences.
To be as transparent and open about this issue as he has been in writing this is no small thing, but his testimony here has been no small encouragement to me in my own life, as I know it will be in yours.
Attitudes of the Heart: Bitterness
“Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;” Hebrews 12:15
One of the greatest lessons that I have learned in my short life is that there are always two sides to every story and situation. There are always two points of view that people must choose between; that is the positive and the negative. Unfortunately, in our society, we hear more about the negative and it has had a profound effect on way we view our everyday lives.
When we hear the word “Addiction,” a vast majority of us usually associate the term with a physical and/or chemical addiction, but what we often do not associate it with is sin. Mankind is addicted to sin or, as the Bible words it, we all have a sin nature. Though I have been blessed to have never had the struggle of overcoming a drug or alcohol addiction, my problem was one of the heart.
When I look back over my nearly fifteen years as a Christian and the two years I spent vocational ministry I am amazed to see all the good that God has done but how little notice I took of it as it was happening. Shortly after graduating from Bible College, God gave me an open door to work full time in the ministry. I began traveling to churches to raise funds for a church-planting ministry in the United Kingdom and Ireland. I was engaged and eventually married the most wonderful woman in the world and we moved forward with a passion to accomplish the goals we had set.
Funds were tight and careful records needed to be kept to ensure that we were well within our means. In order for me to raise the necessary funds we were going to have to be more diligent and work harder that we had ever before. I would spend anywhere from eight to twelve hours a day making phone calls to churches all across the eastern United States. We would schedule meetings and travel to these churches to present our ministry burden in hopes that they would partner with us and donate the funds needed. As my schedule filled up, my spirits were high.
Over the course of the next two years, we traveled over 150,000 miles, visited over 200 churches, and presented our ministry between 300-450 times. Surely one would believe that such dedicated individuals would be worthy of God’s blessing and would be on their way to accomplishing their goals…but nothing could be further from reality.
I had been working very closely with a good number of veteran missionaries who all had been able to accomplish the initial leg of their journeys within two years. They all had similar stories of how the funds had rolled in, they had left for their respective countries, churches had been started, people were being saved, and God was doing unbelievable things. But in my case, things were hardly moving at all.
I had been told that initially things would move slow but after the first three months I would begin seeing more movement. When I started, I had one supporting church that gave $50.00 per month. After six months, they still were my only supporting church. This puzzled me, but I wrote it off. After January 1, 2006, funds did begin to trickle in and eventually reached $500.00 a month. However, things still were not moving quickly enough. I was starting to get a little worried because I was substantially short of the percentage I should have by that time. I again brushed it off because I was still early on in the process.
My wife and I were married on April 29, 2006, nine months after I had begun my fundraising. This not only was one the greatest days of my life, but it was also an event that I had been told when things would really start to move. Now churches were going to recognize that I was a responsible individual and also had more of a need. Though there was an initial jump in our support level in the following month, things still did not go as expected. For the following six months, our support level did not move so much as one cent.
By this time I had moved passed the puzzled stage to the irritated stage. I began to look at all the work I had been doing and how little I had to show for it. We were both working no less than sixty hours a week, not counting the time and distance spent on the road. There were times when we were spending a maximum of three nights a month in our own bed, only to get up a 5:00 AM for an eight to ten hour drive the next day. I even recall a time when we were in church services for twenty-one straight days and were in multiple services for many of those days. Still, our support did not budge.
Over time I began to loath even the thought of going to another church. I started to become very insecure, especially around my missionary friends. They seemed just as puzzled as I was about the situation. Though they tried to help me, my insecurity eventually led me to believe that my friends doubted my integrity and my ability to do the work of a missionary. This not only caused me to withdraw from my friends but I also began to cast blame in attempts to protect my reputation. I had allowed myself to look past the fact that my insecurity was little more than a guise for the real problem I was having…pride.
The blame that I was casting initially started in my heart and in my mind. At first, I avoided speaking about it as much as possible because it only caused me to get angry. Naturally, the object of the blame quickly became the people and pastors of the churches we were visiting. They were the ones who were supposed to recognize the need for world missions and our desire to reach people who were lost without hope. But the simple fact that they were not taking us on for support said to me that they were not seeing the need nor did they truly care.
To make a long story short, my irritation towards pastors and their people became ever increasingly more verbal. I eventually reached the point of writing people off while we were only just packing to leave. Month after month, my heart grew with disdain and my verbal attacks became more brutal. My stress levels were rising to the point that I was always depressed and in a perpetual state of physical pain. My head ached, my muscles were fatigued, and my sleep was constantly disturbed. My health was on the decline due to a lack of a good nutritional selection that is adherent with living on the road. I was all around miserable.
Toward the end of our time as missionaries, things had declined to the point where all I could think about was quitting and moving away so I would not have to face my friends. I could not stand pastors or their people because to me, they were nothing more imbeciles and cared nothing for the things that really mattered to God. I was constantly running them down with my words and the hatred I felt in my heart was reaching a boiling point. Being on the road constantly only left one outlet for my frustrations…my wife.
For those that know Cindi, she is one of the sweetest, caring, and most positive people one could ever know. For every negative thing that would come out of my mouth, she would almost instinctively reply with something positive. Having grown up in a Pastor’s home, she was much more familiar with the behind the scenes look than I was. Her heart for people, in my opinion, could fill volumes. But even the most optimistic person has their breaking point.
Over time the constant spray of negativity began to wear her down. I would become enraged by her positive responses to my negative and I would double my efforts. One day as we were driving to Tampa, FL, it happened. With a seemingly endless stream of criticism pouring from my mouth, my wife picked up the binder that was in her lap and began to poise herself to hit me with everything she had. Thankfully, she had enough clarity to realize we were on a crowded Interstate and traveling at a high rate of speed. Instead of taking my head clean off my shoulders, she began to slam the binder as hard as she could down on her lap while screaming, “Shut up, shut up, I can’t take this anymore!” For the first time in a long time, I was silent and it remained that way for the next few hours.
This marked a major turning point in my life. My wife’s outburst was a blessing in disguise. The Holy Spirit, who I had been ignoring for some time, in His still small voice whispered and pointed out that what had once been pride had taken root and was now ruling my life in the form of bitterness. However, despite all the evil things that were going on in my heart, God, in His infinite wisdom and love, had placed within my life, my wife, the greatest blessing outside of my salvation. I realized in that moment I was destroying one of the greatest blessings that can be had by anyone.
After we returned home, despite the sting of pride in my heart, I walked up to my wife and literally fell to my knees, wrapped my arms around her and said “I’m sorry and I have a major problem.” She forgave me as I knew she would, and this marked a long journey back from the depths from which I had sunk. After much prayer and counsel, we made the decision to resign our position as missionaries. Despite my obvious heart issues, there were many factors that were contributing to our low support level.
Very quickly, God began to open doors for Cindi and me. Within three days, I was employed full time and had not filled out a single application or sent one resume. I restarted my Bible reading and got involved in the ministries of our church. Slowly but surely, as I spent time listening to the preaching and spending time in God’s word, my eyes began to open to the reality of what God had been doing.
Though we had not been able to raise the full amount of support that we needed to leave for the UK, we had never once been unable to pay for the things we needed. Every time there had been a need, God had supplied it. When I initially started traveling, I had been praying that God would provide a dependable vehicle. Before I traveled even one mile on my journey, God provided a 1998 Chevrolet, Lumina with very few miles, completely free of charge. Subsequently, I still have this car and it is running great despite its 245,000 miles. We have also since been able to purchase a 2002 Pontiac, Grand Am for our primary car.
On more than one occasion I was in a need of one or more suits to wear during our meetings. We were often in four to five meetings a week so it was not uncommon for me to wear through the material of my suits in less than a year. I can recall no less than three occasions when a church was kind enough to purchase a new suit for me and an outfit for my wife. I even received from one church, a wool, London Fog overcoat.
Probably the greatest blessing that God gave was one that bitterness and pride had completely blinded me to. It was the support and love of friends. My insecurity had led me to believe I was alone, but when Cindi and I made the decision to stop traveling, we received overwhelming support and love. It was through this, that God did most of His work to open my eyes. I began to see His love and care in every aspect of the previous two years. It was through this that I made a determination to see the good in every situation, even if it is filled with sorrow and uncertainty.
Today, I live a life that is filled with joy and peace. My wife and my relationship is stronger than it has ever been and we are looking forward to what is in store for the future. Above all, my relationship with God has been strengthened. His word has come alive and I look forward to my time in it every day.
If there is anything that can be gained from this story, my hope is that people realize there are far more than just external things that can take their toll on someone’s life. Attitudes of the heart are a more common problem in our world today than any drug or alcoholic beverage. I learned that my attitudes towards pastors and churches was completely unfounded, but I did meet many people who were living in a prisons of sorrow, bitterness and depression, all because they had chosen to engage in or been snared by a negative, unbiblical attitude. God’s desire for His children is that they would know true joy. The Bible says in John 10:10 “The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” If we would take God at his word, then we truly see His moving in this world.
Quote for the Day:
“Bad things in life are enjoyed first and paid for later, but good things in life are paid for first and enjoyed later.”

Good Morning! I want to share with you the story of two different men. One was a young teenager in Amsterdam. He hated authority, rebelling against his parents and spending most every day in the garage playing music with his neighborhood pals. He aspired to be famous and put every bit of his free time into his music.
Eventually his practice paid off and he became a very wealthy and famous musician. The quest to acquire his fame and fortune, he later admitted, was the only joy he ever had in life. After having acquired the fame and the fortune that comes with rock star status, he was in what many think an enviable position. He would buy whatever he wanted. He had the finest of cars, the finest of homes all over the world, dated many beautiful women, even world class models would give anything to be by his side.
This man was held back from no earthly pleasure. In the midst of this sea of so called success however, he sat down in a luxurious hotel one day and penned the words to his autobiographical song, “I can’t get no satisfaction”, going on to cry out “though I’ve tried and I’ve tried and I’ve tried”. This of course, is the living testament of the infamous Mick Jagger; who today is still trying to find satisfaction through instant gratification. He has learned that it just doesn’t work that way, but it hasn’t stopped him from still trying and trying and trying.
Enter the story of another man. He is an aged machinist. He sits next to a young apprentice in a machine shop. They boy that he is training has just finished ten hard years of addiction and is trying desperately to get his life back on track. The young man has spent every dime he ever earned on riotous living. He is lonely, broke, and looking to find a break in life.
The young man had gone the way of the world seeking instant gratification in any of life’s temporal pleasures. He had lived for a decade “in the moment”; thinking nothing of the future. But the aged machinist saw this young man’s potential and began to work him through some difficult decisions in life.
Sitting on their workbenches at 5am in the morning, Mel Stoddard would tell this young man, Steve little anecdotal truths that he had learned during a few of his “life lessons” over the last forty five years or so. He taught me that credit cards were a bad thing. He said “your spending money you ain’t earned yet! Even a dummy knows you’ll never catch up that way”. I remember looking at him like he was a sage of sorts. Such wisdom coming from a man who has been nothing more than a blue collar slug his whole life. I wondered if he could even “get” a credit card!
One day I visited that man’s humble abode. It was a July 4th picnic party. I followed the map out to Mel’s house, way, way out into the country. There I found his humble abode. At I drove up his winding driveway I saw the most beautiful site I had ever seen. It was a beautiful, but modest size ranch home sitting among two small ponds and rolling hills. Horses and a stable, a small barn filled with vintage old cars that he had restored. Mel sat in the back yard with his three adult daughters and his wonderfully graceful wife pawning over him like he was a King. Little grandbabies ran circles all around him.
I was shocked to see what this man was able to collect and call “his life” all in 40 years work on a machine shop Bridgeport! I sat back absolutely stunned as I remembered him say, “the best way to find wealth is to find a job and keep it!”
I turned a corner in life that day, when I realized as a 28 year old recovering addict that God’s plan is that good things in life are paid for first and enjoyed later, but the bad things in life are always enjoyed first and paid for later.
He knew that good things in life are paid for first, but enjoyed later and I had learned that the bad things in life are enjoyed first and paid for later.
A PRAYER FOR TODAY: “Lord, help me today to invest in my future, by thinking right thoughts about my current situations. I know Lord, from reading today’s blog that if I do what is right today, I will reap the benefits of it eventually. Lord, help me to reject the temporary and immediate gratification that comes from doing what I want, my way. Give me the prompting I need in my spirit to invest in my life’s work and my relationships over the long haul. I pray this is the bloodstained name of Jesus, Amen!”
A QUESTION FOR TODAY’S MEDITATION: “What specific steps am I taking to gain victory over my defeats?” If we are defeated in any area of life, we will never make progress without steps. The Bible tells us that God orders (or directs) the steps of a good man. That mean’s good men take steps! But those steps are not determined by man, they are directed by God. Look for your next step in life and take it and take it and take it until you find yourself where God is wanting you.
This past month at Vision Baptist we had a really amazing program called “Take A Vow”. It is designed to help married couples dedicate themselves to honoring God with their marriages, and it was a real blessing and challenge! Part of the homework one week was for each spouse to create an acrostic of each others name, describing what they appreciated the most about their significant other.
I wanted to share what my wife wrote for two reasons: 1, because I want people to know how amazingly sweet she is and how blessed of God I am to have her in my life, and 2, to share what God has been doing in my heart as a result of it! Here it is:
Surrendered- Fully surrendered to the work of the Lord
Comforting- Always a comfort in hard times
Openminded- Always has an open mind to my weird ideas!
Teacher- The best teacher in the world
Tough- Strong physically, spiritually, and emotionally
I know that you are probably thinking that is pretty cheesy, but I loved it. The first thing that I thought as I read it was, “Wow. I’m not that guy!” There are probably times that I exhibit those characteristics, but definitely not constantly. It blows me away to think that the first things that come to her mind when she thinks of me are these good qualities, and none of the more frequent bad qualities.
Do you know what I have found myself doing this past month? Trying to live up to who she thinks I am! If she had just laid down the law and said, “Honey, you’ve been really slacking lately. You need to exhibit the following qualities in the next few weeks:”, I would have felt like a total failure and beat myself up about how I don’t measure up; but instead, I love doing the things that demonstrate these qualities because I know that she believes in me and loves me!
I think you probably saw the turnaround coming, but here goes anyway: Do you ever contemplate how God sees you? Most Christians tend to have the idea that God is angry at them, disappointed in them, and just constantly laying down a list of rules for them that they know they will never measure up to.
If only people realized how God sees us (by us I mean those who are redeemed. If you are not, this does not apply to you, but it could!) it would change everything about our lives! I will have to take a few posts to even begin to cover this, but here is the first way God looks at a Christian:
Righteous…
Philippians 3:9- And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith…
What a word! Have you ever thought about what righteous really means? Here is Webster’s definition:
God looks at us, unclean sinners by nature, separated from a holy God by our sin, and sees no guilt or sin, but Christ’s own perfect spotless righteousness! He no longer remembers any of our sins, because Christ took all of them upon Himself, and took the full punishment for them. We never have to worry about God rejecting us based on what we do or don’t do: Christ bore that rejection in our place, so we are completely accepted!
I want to live up to who I am in my wife’s eyes, but I am even more desirous of living up to who I am in God’s eyes! There is no law, no list of rules, only love and gratitude. I want to please Him because He loves me so much.
Think about the fact that God sees you as righteous… It’ll change your attitude, your actions, your thinking, and every part of your life!
Here is a continuation of Chris Anderson’s series on Help for Fighting Lust. Very good stuff, I encourage you to check out his blog.
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Proverbs spends a good deal of space revealing sensuality’s deception. The temptress (both real and fantastic, live and pornographic) is “wily of heart” (Prov 7:10). She is a trickster. Indeed, she is a hunter (Prov 7:22-23)! She promises pleasure and safety, but ultimately delivers sorrow and death. Studying the nature of her deceptions as they are depicted in Proverbs will arm us against her—and against ourselves. I plan to invest several posts on this topic.
One of the more intriguing statements of Proverbs’ temptress is found in Proverbs 7:14. In the middle of her sensual and aggressive seduction, she suddenly turns the conversation to religion, of all things:
“I had to offer sacrifices, and today I have paid my vows.”
What’s that about. I’ve wondered about it for a long time, and I think it provides a number of lessons, both about the temptress and about us, the tempted. I suggest four (and I’d be glad to consider more):
“Just Win, Baby”
First, the immoral woman has no scruples whatsoever. She’ll talk religion, quote Scripture, whatever necessary. No surprise there, for her commander in chief is the father of lies who appears as an angel of light and ever has a verse of Scripture on his forked tongue (John 6:44; 2 Cor 11:13-15; Mat 4:6). The point? The temptress is ruthless; she has no conscious. She (and those selling her wares, on-line or elsewhere) will do or say anything necessary to score.
“Respectably Reprehensible”
The second observation is the most important, I think. Consider something: though the immoral woman will say anything, why would an appeal to religious observances be in her best interest? Obviously, she wouldn’t refer to paying vows and making sacrifices if it didn’t work—but why does it? Doesn’t it seem like it would have the opposite effect, touching her target’s conscience? Understanding what’s happening in this portion of the temptation means understanding ourselves in all of our despicable depravity. Here’s what I think, both from meditating on this text and from my own fallen nature: Christians are suckers for that which is simultaneously respectable and reprehensible. The seductress’ religious farce makes her—and therefore, us!—seem less vile. Somehow we convince ourselves that lusting after the proverbial “girl next door” is morally superior to lusting after some Vegas-type vixen. We’d never do that. We’re interested in, you know, wholesome harlots. (I speak as a fool.) Put it this way: the reason there are many “pious prostitutes” to be found in the world and in cyberspace is that there are many pious lusters eager to engage them. “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” (Jer 17:9)
“Keep Your Guard Up”
A third point for consideration is this: There’s a reason why so many pastors who fail morally do so with church members, and it’s essentially the same reason described above. We’re not so wicked (we piously figure) that we’d go after a hooker. Satan knows this, and he’s okay with it. He’ll put that lure back in the tackle box for another fish. This one—the big one—is more likely to go after a secretary or a deacon’s wife (or daughter). Think about it. Isn’t it true that most pastors you know who have forfeited their ministries for a few moments of pleasure did so with someone from their church? Satan knows that we’re more apt to fall for a fellow believer than someone notoriously easy. We should know it, too, and we should therefore protect ourselves (Prov 22:3). We should have our guard as high for the long-term church member in the modest knee-length dress as for the visitor in the miniskirt—if not higher.
“Thou Art the Man”
Finally, everyone will acknowledge that there is something uniquely perverse about the idea of the temptress worshiping in the morning then fornicating in the evening. Again, though, think about it. Isn’t that what every believer does when he lusts or commits a sexual sin (or any other sin). Aren’t we but a few hours or days away from worship anytime we yield to temptation? Aren’t we essentially as guilty and hypocritical as the pious prostitute from Proverbs 7:14? We are—and we need great doses of gospel grace, both to forgive us for sins of the past and to deliver us from sins of the future.
More on that later.
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Note: This is my second “Help for Fighting Lust” post. The first (available here) argued that we need to be transparent as we battle lust, acknowledging our need of help. My candor in this series is not intended to shock or even tempt readers. Rather, as J. C. Ryle (one of my spiritual heroes) said regarding lust in his classic book Thoughts for Young Men, “The world becomes more wicked because of our failure to teach and preach on [the seventh] commandment.” What we may call discretion in addressing the topic of lust with care (or avoiding it altogether) he called “false and unscriptural delicacy” that leaves us particularly susceptible to temptation. He urged apostolic boldness and candor. It is my prayer that these meditations and warnings will help those who read even as the Lord helps me.
As always, your comments are very welcome.

We have been studying Romans 12:1 recently in Reformers Unanimous, which says…
“I beseech you therefore brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service”
There is an idealogy that is increasingly popular in the world, and seems to be bleeding over from the secular to the sacred, that teaches that all habits, addictions, or self-destructive behaviour stems from a lack of self-esteem. Their subsequent plan of attack on these is to build self-esteem, to encourage people to think more highly of themselves, that they deserve better.
This attitude is absolutely unbiblical. The root of wrong habits and addictions is not in self-loathing (although that is a result of indulgence), but in self-gratification. Why do we do the things that we do? The simple answer is because we want to.
Contrary to modern man centered theology, Christ taught a life of sacrifice. Here is a wonderful quote by a man dubbed the “Prince of Baptist Preachers”-Charles Haddon Spurgeon:
Doth that man love his Lord who would be willing to see Jesus wearing a crown of thorns, while for himself he craves a chaplet of laurel? Shall Jesus ascend to his throne by the cross, and do we expect to be carried there on the shoulders of applauding crowds? Be not so vain in your imagination. Count the cost, and if you are not willing to bear Christ’s cross, go away to your farm and to your merchandise, and make the most of them; only let me whisper this in your ear, “What shall it profit a man if he gain the whole world and lose his own soul?
When we offer ourselves as that living sacrifice to Him, He rewards us with a life worth sacrificing for; but He must have the preeminence!
This is a guest post by Chris Anderson from the Covenant Eyes “Breaking Free” blog, very good stuff.
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I’ve been doing a lot of studying on the topic of lust lately—as a pastor who wants to help the people in the church I pastor, as a father who wants to protect his family, and (especially) as a sinner who knows too well the power of his own flesh. Over the next several weeks, Joe Tyrpak and I hope to share some of what we’re finding to be helpful in our own battles with lust.
One of the first steps to fighting lust, I believe, is to drag it out of dark secrecy and into the light of honest transparency. I believe this with all my heart: especially in the day of internet pornography, anonymity is the enemy of your soul. It seems it has always been so, whether the battle has been against a private liaison or a private fantasy. Part of the lure of sensuality in Proverbs is its promise that “no one will know”:
“For my husband is not at home; he has gone on a long journey; he took a bag of money with him; at full moon he will come home.” (Prov 7:19-20; cp. 7:9; 9:17)
Unlike life-giving plants, lust grows best in the dark. Thus, Richard Baxter counsels you to drag it into the light:
“If less means prevail not open thy case to some able faithful friend, and engage them to watch over thee; and tell them when thou art most endangered by temptation.”
“Concealment is Satan’s great advantage. It would be hard for thee to sin thus if it were but opened.” (Both quoted by Mark Dever in Sex and the Supremacy of God, 260).
First, we must be honest enough to admit that we struggle with lust. All of us. As one comically accurate statistic puts it, 95% of all men struggle with lust, and the other 5% are lying. So admit it. Men in conservative churches have denied the reality of our struggles for far too long, in part to keep up appearances and in part because we’ve feared (rightly in many cases) that our appeal for help would be met with church discipline rather than compassionate instruction. The result of our timidity and silence is that the same “unspeakable” pornography and infidelity that runs rampant “out there” runs rampant in our churches and homes, as well. It’s painfully obvious that any sin anyone has ever committed—including pornography, adultery, and even pedophilia—is one that can visit churches and homes like ours. It’s time to stop hiding in the dark and admit that you struggle with lust.
Second, we must be honest enough to admit that we need some help. The shape of OT Judaism and NT Christianity is not so much a redeemed individual, but a redeemed assembly. One of the Lord’s gifts to the Christian is the church, filled with brothers, sisters, and leaders who can sharpen us, provoke us to righteousness, and restore us when we’re in trouble (Prov 27:17; Heb 10:24-25; Gal 6:1; Jam 5:20). In my battle with lust, I need help.
At the risk of sounding untheological or unspiritual, in the pursuit of the fear of God (Prov 1:7), some healthy fear of man can sometimes be of help. For me, that means using Covenant Eyes, an accountability program that sends an email listing all of my internet activity to my wife and three pastor-friends. So when I’m alone, I’m not alone, and I don’t view anything in private that I wouldn’t view with those four looking over my shoulder. Many men have sought out accountability partners, but Covenant Eyes has this advantage over other programs: accountability that relies on honest answers (e.g. “How are you doing, friend? Have you viewed anything you shouldn’t lately?”) allows a large loophole, and the flesh loves loopholes. Think of it this way: if your flesh can convince you to look at garbage and pleasure yourself, it probably won’t have a hard time getting you to lie about doing so.
Now, has using Covenant Eyes made me more godly? No. No accountability program or friend can do that. And of course, no accountability program is foolproof. I wish it weren’t necessary—that awareness of God’s omnipresence were enough accountability for me (Prov 5:20). But too often, it’s not. So I lean on my wife and these men not because I am godly, and not to become godly, but because I’m sinful. And while it hasn’t sanctified me, it has kept me from acting as though my temptation to sin is a private matter, and it has prohibited me from spiritually brutalizing myself while I’m growing in grace. The assurance that sin can remain a secret is a lie, of course, and intentionally demonstrating it to be so and removing that lie from the Tempter’s arsenal has been helpful.
Again, lust is a nearly universal problem. The only people who aren’t struggling with it on some level are probably those who are just surrendering to it without a fight. I struggle, and I sought out help both as an “ounce of prevention” and as a “pound of cure.” Quite honestly, my efforts to battle temptation on my own too often ended in failure. I wish it weren’t so, but there it is. Many of you are probably there, too. I urge you to humble yourself and get some help. Don’t believe the lie that getting help is “beneath you” or will take away from your appearance of “pastoral impeccability.” People don’t mind following a leader who is fighting his flesh; they mind following a leader who denies that he has to fight his flesh, then crashes and burns in a public and irreparable way. Don’t be that guy.
I recommend that you find some genuine friends (a) who know you well, (b) who love you anyway, and (c) who have your respect and pose enough of a threat to be a deterrent. Tell them you need help. When necessary, call them and admit when you need particular prayer or accountability. Sometimes you just need a friend to whom you can say “Please pray for me. I can’t keep my eyes in the right place” or “I’m remembering things I should forget.” I’ve done it, and I’ve received real help. In addition to that sort of on-the-fly honesty, sign up for Covenant Eyes or something like it, and list those friends as your accountability partners. Why? Because we need to get serious about fighting lust, because doing so requires enough transparency to get some help, and because “concealment is Satan’s great advantage.”
She is here! Elena McKenzie Newton arrived February 21 at 7:31 PM. God gave us a healthy and absolutely gorgeous baby girl. He is so good to us!


My friend Jeremy Hall and his wife Rebekah just left for Peru as missionaries this past week. His life is an amazing testimony to the transforming power of God’s grace! Keep up with his blog here….
Only six years ago, he was involved heavily in the world of drinking and drug use. Today, God is using him in amazing ways to bring the gospel of Christ to the world.
In his last service with us here at Vision, he preached a great message from the life of Isaac in Genesis 26.
Isaac remembered God’s commandment to him to be a sojourner… That is, he was to remember that he was only passing through the land, it was not his permanent home. So when he dug wells and others took them over, he merely moved on and dug another one: in other words, he just kept doing what he knew to do, regardless of circumstances around him.
The result of this is found in vs. 24:
And the LORD appeared unto him the same night, and said, I am the God of Abraham thy father: fear not, for I am with thee, and will bless thee…
What an awesome principle: when life in confusing and you can’t see around the bend, do what you know to do, and God shows up in power!
We have been learning the past few weeks in RU that God’s will is more often something that we do than something we find. Are you looking for God’s direction? Do you find yourself facing doubt over your future? Ask yourself this question: am I doing what I know to do?
We know that God wants us:
1. To be seeking His face and presence every day, through His Word and prayer.
2. To be completely broken and asking for Christ to live through us.
3. To be sensitive to the Holy Spirit.
4. To be investing in the lives of others.
5. To be sharing the truth of the Gospel at every opportunity
You can’t change the past, and the future is always unknown, but if you desire God’s direction and power on your life, then focus on doing what you know He wants you to do in this moment.
| Here is a great post from Reformers Unanimous weekly Bible blog. It is a great resource, and you can sign up to receive it in your email here.
THOUGHTS for the Day:
At least once per week, we share with you some deep thoughts from a key staff member, ministry volunteer, RU director or Pastor. Dr. George Crabb is our ministries trusted medical adviser. I have asked him to communicate on Wednesdays for the next ten weeks a series of his choice. I trust you will enjoy hearing from these incredible insightful teachers. Good morning and I pray our day finds us maintaining our position IN Christ.
Steven Curington
Fundamental #5 is the subject of our blog today. We have been discussing “What to do when you are between a rock and a hard place.” I pray that the first four fundamentals have been a blessing to you. Remember it’s not enough to acknowledge them; we must implement them into our daily, minute by minute, living. We ended our last blog with Fundamental #4, which instructed us to pray. Today’s blog is an “in your face” type of statement, so hang on and let’s see what God has for us today.
Fundamental #5 is this, “Back Off and Let God Work.” J. Hudson Taylor said it this way, “I am waiting on Thee, Lord, to open the way.” In Romans 12:19, there is a truth buried under the apparent meaning, “Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath…” That truth is this, “leave room for God.” When someone harms us, we shouldn’t try to get even, but should “back off and let God work.” There are times when we should let Him settle the score. If we can leave room for God’s wrath, then can we not, when facing other challenges, leave room for His other attributes? For His power? For His grace? For His intervention? Learn to lean on this truth. I cannot solve every problem, cure every hurt, or avoid every fear, but I can “back off and let God work.” I don’t have the answer to every dilemma, but I can leave room for God to work. I can’t do the impossible, but He can as He tells us in Ephesians 3:20. Moses told the Israelites: “Fear ye not, stand still…” This is what the biblical phrase “wait on the Lord” is about: committing our Red Sea situations to Him in prayer, trusting Him, and waiting for Him to work. Doing this runs counter to our proactive and assertive selves, but many a modern migraine would be cured by a good dose of Psalm 37:7-8: “Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him…fret not thyself…” God alone can:
God wants His children’s emotions under His Spirit’s control. This is impossible for us to do, but not for Him. We have strong feelings, often driven by compelling circumstances. We are to walk by faith, not by feelings. Sometimes, we must choose an attitude that’s contrary to the way we feel. That’s the point of Exodus 14. The children of Israel had every reason for utter terror. There were good reasons to be afraid; there were even better reasons for remaining confident. They had an Ally alongside them who had sent lightening and locusts and a fistful of other plagues upon the Egyptians, who billowed up as a pillar of cloud and fire. God was saying, “Get a grip on yourself. Reel in these runaway emotions. Bring yourself under control. Work your way from fear to faith. TRUST ME!” In our distresses in life when trapped by the Red Sea, we must trust God with the impossible as we back off and let Him work. This truth is seen in multiple references: Deuteronomy 1:29-31; 3:22; 31:6; I Samuel 17:47; Romans 8:31, 37. Many times, we cannot solve problems, heal hurts, change circumstances, or win battles. We must kneel in prayer, and then stand to see what God will do. We must, “back off and let God work.” We must understand that if we step in and try to do the work, the rescuing, we will create a disaster with untold consequences and pain. It is our responsibility to “back off and let God do the work.”
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Have you ever had a dream where you had to teach a class, give a speech, or do something publicly, only to realize as you step behind the podium that you are completely unready? You look down for your speech notes and…. Nothing!
I had a moment yesterday that felt like one of those dreams. My wife (who is 8 months pregnant) called to tell me that her doctor believes that our baby (Elena MacKenzie Newton, pictures to follow soon!!!) will make her grand entrance today or tomorrow. Yikes! I have known this was coming for 8 months, and I knew that at best we had a month left, but it still shocked me that this was truly happening.
I have noticed that yesterday and today have been pretty unique: I live in constant expectation of that phone call. I am constantly thinking about what it will be like to actually see my child. I wonder what she will look like. I wonder if I am ready! I am really excited and looking forward to it, but also a little nervous because I know how momentous this is.
I also find that I get things done that have been put off for months: time is simply not a luxury that I have anymore! I am focused on getting ready for this big event.
I find myself talking to random strangers about the fact that my baby will be here. I always found new parents slightly annoying before, because it is all they are able to talk about, but now I’m the one annoying everyone!
I know you are probably thinking, “OK great. You’re having a baby. Why in the world post this on a blog about spiritual growth???”
The reason is because this whole situation has brought some Bible passages to my mind.
Romans 8:21-23…
21Because the creature itself also shall be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God.
22For we know that the whole creation groaneth and travaileth in pain together until now.
23And not only they, but ourselves also, which have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting for the adoption, to wit, the redemption of our body.
Paul says that we, like the rest of Creation, are like a woman in the pain of childbirth, waiting for something special: the adoption. What adoption is this talking about?
Many times we get our terminology wrong when we talk about salvation. We refer to salvation as being adopted into the family of God, when in fact, we are only promised this adoption in the future! Christ has paid the price for our adoption, set it into motion, given us the down payment (the indwelling of the Holy Spirit), but then we find in this passage that we are still waiting for it. Or we are supposed to be waiting for it!
We know that Christ is coming back, that we will actually see Him face to face (throw a “selah” in right there.. Stop and meditate on that! Wow!), we will no longer have to deal with failing to live a life that completely honors and exalts God, because we will no longer have this sinful nature hanging about our necks.
We will get to see the new heaven and new Earth, the New Jerusalem… In short, our lives are about to change radically!
If we could just get a hold of this truth it would change everything about our lives. We would be constantly waiting for that call: the trump of God, calling us to be united with Him. We would be absorbed with meditating on who He is, what He is like, what it will be like to actually see Him.
We would be concerned about being ready, that we are doing what we ought to be doing. We would be so excited about Him and His coming that we might even annoy some strangers (God forbid) by telling them about Him, and inviting them to get ready too.
We might even get so distracted by this impending event that we find that the pull and call of the flesh to habits and addictions pales and wanes: we simply don’t have time for that junk… Jesus is coming!!!
I don’t know how to close this post, so I’ll borrow a closing line from the Apostle John:
He which testifieth these things saith, Surely I come quickly. Amen. Even so, come, Lord Jesus.
The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all. Amen.
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